The Ultimate Guide to Newborn Sleep For Tired Parents

Welcoming a newborn is a beautiful experience, but it can come with a lot of sleepless nights, diaper changes and feeding. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone - and we promise, once you get into your routine, it will feel more manageable. Baby sleep itself can seem like a big scientific math equation, but with the right tools and knowledge, you and your bub will be able to get the rest you both need. 

In this guide, you’ll learn everything you need to know about newborn sleep - from newborn sleep patterns and feeding cues to must-have newborn essentials to get you through the first year. This is for first-time parents and seasoned parents looking for a refresher so you feel confident navigating those early newborn days.

Your newborn will sleep a lot. In a day, they’ll sleep 14-17 hours. Newborn sleep is scattered in short bursts throughout the day. When your bub is freshly newborn, they’ll be awake for shorter periods where they’ll wake just for a feed and a quick diaper change. As they get bigger, their wake windows will slowly increase. At night, they’ll continue this pattern and wake very few hours to eat. During growth spurts, you might notice your baby feeding more frequently over a burst of time. Cluster feeding usually happens around 2-3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, and again at 6 months. 

Below, you’ll see an example of what your newborn’s day might look like in the first 3 months of life. Remember, every baby is different - some babies may sleep longer stretches, and some may wake more frequently. As your bub grows, their sleep will also change.

Newborn Active Sleep 

Babies are anything but peaceful deep sleepers. You’ll notice that your bub will move around a lot. These movements include: 

• Rapid Eye Movements: Your baby’s eyes move back and forth under their eyelids. Sometimes, you’ll even see their eyes open. 
• Body Movements: Your baby may twitch or squirm. 
• Sounds: Your baby may grunt, cry, or make loud noises. 
• Irregular Breathing: Your baby’s breathing may be irregular and may pause for 5 to 10 seconds. This is referred to as normal periodic breathing of infancy. After a pause, they'll breathe rapidly for 50 to 60 breaths and then return to regular breathing.

This happens when your newborn is in active sleep or RED (Rapid Eye Movement Sleep) - a period of light sleep essential for their brain development, nervous system development, and memory consolidation. 

Learn more about active sleep here. 

Newborn Moro Reflex 

A newborn baby is born with their natural startle reflex or Moro reflex. This is your bub’s natural response to loud sounds or movements. It usually looks like your baby is throwing their head back, spreading their arms out, crying, and then pulling their arms and legs back in. The startle reflex is developed while they’re in the womb and usually disappears between 3 to 6 months. 

A Quick Rundown on Swaddling 

That’s where swaddling comes in handy. When done correctly and safely, it can help your bub feel calmer and get more restful sleep. Swaddling mimics the same feeling of being snug in the womb and being skin-to-skin with their caregiver. When laid on their back, it promotes safe sleep and helps prevent SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). 

To swaddle your baby you can use:

• A light, breathable Swaddle Blanket 
• A Swaddle Sleep Bag
• A Startle Stop Sleep Bag where you can swaddle your baby’s arms up or down 

To learn how to swaddle a baby, read our guide here. 

Swaddling your baby is a great way to help soothe and transition them to the outside world. Choose sleep essentials made with organic cotton and bamboo. These are soft, light, breathable, and gentle on your bub’s delicate skin. 

A newborn’s stomach is tiny. On their first day of life, their stomachs are only the size of a cherry. That’s why colostrum comes in the first few days before breast milk does. By day 3,  their stomach will grow to the size of a walnut. By the time they’re one month old, their stomach will grow to the size of an egg. Typically, a newborn will wake every 2-3 hours to feed - about 8-12 times in 24 hours. It is recommended that parents feed on demand to ensure their bub gets the food they need when they’re hungry. 

Should I Wake My Newborn to Feed Them?

Because your newborn loses weight in the first few days of life, it is important to wake them to feed. This will ensure they’re not too hungry and get the nutrition they need to support their rapid growth. However, if they’ve gained back their birth weight, you may be able to let them sleep for longer stretches. We recommend you consult your pediatrician, midwife, or obstetrician before deciding if you should let your newborn sleep longer stretches without waking them. 

If your bub is tired, you’ll notice these cues:

• Yawning 
• Rubbing their eyes
• Staring blankly or avoiding eye contact
• Jerky movements 
• Fussiness or irritability 
• They become quiet, still, or lose interest in toys
• Crying or whining
• Sucking their fingers to self-soothe
• Frowning

Knowing when your baby is tired can help reduce fussiness and give them the sleep they need to grow. In the first few weeks, newborns get tired quickly. But don’t worry, as you get to know your baby, you’ll learn to recognize their sleepy cues. 

You’ll know if your newborn is hungry if they show you these hunger cues: 

• Rooting (turning their head and opening their mouth)
• Sucking on their hands or fingers
• Smacking their lips
• Increased fussiness
• Crying (this is a late-stage hunger cue)

By paying attention to their hunger cues, you’ll be able to feed your bub on demand and ensure their tummies are full and happy. 

Find more information on newborn sleep and feeding tips here.

Tired parents - we see you. Newborn days can be overwhelming - especially those nighttime feeds. For a lot of new moms, the night can bring up a lot of anxiety. Here are a few quick tips to help make it calmer and smoother:

• Wake your baby with a diaper change so they can feel fresh for their feed. 
• Dim the lights or use a nightlight during your night feeds. Using a red light at night leads to less melatonin disruption. This could help caregivers fall asleep quicker after night feeds. 
• Play calming music 
• Start developing a bedtime routine for your newborn. In those newborn days, it could be a quick diaper change, feed, then sleep sack, into their crib, and a good night (eat-play-sleep)  Learn more about creating a bedtime routine here. 

If you’re bottle feeding, choose an IBCLC-approved one like  Quark’s BuubiBottle. Opt for a slow-flow nipple to mimic the natural flow of breastfeeding. These bottles are made from glass with an anatomically gradual slope nipple and shape that mimics the natural feeding experience. The best part? Their bottle system is designed with everything you need for your baby’s first year! 

Read Quark’s Comprehensive Guide to Bottle Feeding for Breastfed Babies to learn more.

The newborn days can feel long when you’re overwhelmed and tired. With the right tools and knowledge, we hope you feel confident and calm going into these days and nights. Every baby is different, and with time, you and your baby will get into a routine that will bring more rythym. You’ve got this, moms and dads! 

Shop Nest Designs’ baby sleep and feeding essentials today. 

Shop Quark’s award-winning bottle system, BuubiBottle.